No, I don’t mean anything jingoistic about national pride or even mean anything about Ryan Lochte (winking at ya, above) specifically … but did you guys feel that huge shaking of the earth this past weekend? It was a seismic shift in the cultural landscape — a change looooong coming: The objectification of beautiful men is now, officially, a THING.

We all know the sexual objectification of women has been around for, like, ever; I gots no problem with it (except for the minority of icky dudes who take it to Level Creepy), but it feels so freakin’ good to finally, FINALLY achieve equality in at least this one arena: LADIES, AND GAYS, THIS IS OUR TIME.

The life ruiners of the USA Men's Gymnastic Team

Without a doubt, this has gotta be the most scorching, sexiest summer of all time, and temperatures this weekend reached record numbers: the hunks of the Olympics (specifically the Speedo-clad swimmers and gymnasts) will be the death of us, Tim Tebow’s shirtless practice made even straight-dude-centric sports radio go bonkers, Alcide got some in spectacular fashion on last night’s “True Blood” … phroar! (Check out the awesomely NSFW caps at superherofan.net!)

The one screencap we can show you from Joe Manganiello's sex scene on last night's "True Blood"

We gotta cool off! Seems like a good time to head to the darkness and cool of the cinema, right? Oooh, “Magic Mike” is still in theaters? Hawt!

Et tu, Tebow?