Category Archives: Mark Sanchez

Mark Sanchez, We Still Love You!

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Not a great day to be New York Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez. Not a great YEAR to be Mark Sanchez. Remember when Tim Tebow came to town and we thought this season might actually be kinda fun? Yeah… no.

The season ended in utter disaster for Sanchez and the Jets last night, in yet another humiliating display on national TV (will anyone ever be able to forget Sanchez’s butt fumble?!). While many Jets fans primarily blame Mark, we blame the Jets’ front office (1) and coaches (2) much, much more.

The Jets made heinous personnel changes over the past couple of years, with the Tebow trade the capper. Some athletes are motivated by fear, others are motivated with hugs. It’s up to general managers and professional sports coaches to know the damned difference!

Us, we’re giving Mark the hug he so terribly needs.

(((Mark Sanchez)))

More Juicy Fodder for That Tebow-Sanchez Slash Fiction

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Tim Tebow

Tim Tebow and his pretty blue eyes met the New York media for today in celebration of the saintly stud’s becoming a New York Jet.

Much has been written about the relationship the ostensible backup quarterback has with the Jets’ starting GQ QB, Mark Sanchez, but now we have some info straight from Tebow’s mouth!

He spoke about texts and phone conversations between the two quarterbacks with the assembled press corps, but he delved a little deeper into their relationship in a one-on-one interview with SNY’s Jeane Coakley. Watch it here:

The interview held some juicy nuggets (bolded for your pleasure) that will provide the starting point for Tebow-Sanchez Slash Fic for months to come:

“We’re just going to have a great time together, we’re going to work hard … We’ve had a great relationship since I visited USC and he was one of my hosts. And that was before anybody knew who Mark Sanchez or Tim Tebow were. And we had a great relationship then, and we’ll have a great relationship now. And it’s gonna be fun. And we’re going to have a great time together. We’ll spend so much time in the quarterback room, the meeting rooms and it’ll be fun.”

Bring it on, writers, bring it on!

Here’s the Big Winner of the NFL Trade Insanity

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Eric Decker

Who’s the big winner in all the recent NFL trade insanity — Peyton Manning to Broncos, Tim Tebow to Mark Sanchez’s Jets. Manning? No. Tebow? No. Sanchez? Certainly not.

So who’s the big winner? WE’RE THE BIG WINNER, PEOPLE! Yes, we get to watch Sanchez and Tebow fight it out for quarterback playing time, ideally naked and oiled up (all hail the start of the Tebow-Sanchez slash-fiction golden age!). Failing that best-case scenario, we are no doubt in for a cute photo shoot of the two of them together. Clothed. Probably in full uniform and pads. Whatever. We’ll take it!

But the other big pay-off for us? More Eric Decker. MUCH MORE Eric Decker. (Some of you watch football and know what I’m talking about. You can skip the next paragraph.)

Eric Decker and Tim Tebow were on the same team (Broncos). Eric catches balls. Tim doesn’t throw them. Eric got so little action that, during one game, his girlfriend was forced to tweet something along the lines of “Throw the damn ball!” (Sing it, sister!) Now the trades went down. Tim’s gone from Eric’s team; Peyton’s on it. Peyton is AWESOME at throwing balls. You following?

More playing time for Eric Decker means more camera time for Eric Decker. More opportunity for him to excel means an increased chance of more magazine spreads like this one from the November 2010 issue of GQ:

WE WIN!! WE WIN!!

Mark Sanchez vs. Tim Tebow: Who’s Sexier?

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Mark Sanchez vs. Tim Tebow

Whoa! Mind-blowing news out of the NFL today: Sean Payton of my beloved — now tarnished — New Orleans Saints shockingly getting suspended for a full year, and Tim Tebow jawdroppingly being traded to the New York Jets, home of another studly young quarterback, Mark Sanchez [UPDATE: Or was he? UPDATE NO. 2: Yes, yes, he was.]. The New York Jets’ locker room just became insane … INSANELY HOT!

Sanchez and Tebow are very different guys, in many different ways — especially when it comes to women (but does anyone really think that Tebow is still a virgin?). Let the football experts break down Tebow and Sanchez’s on-field skills and struggles. We football sexperts will break down what you REALLY care about: their looks! Ready? Let’s go!

(Note: For you man candy fans without the slightest bit of knowledge of football, that’s Sanchez on the left and Tebow on the right in all the photos!)

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