There’s only one problem with the great World War II submarine film “Das Boot”: Its German U-boat captain is so charismatic I find myself rooting for the wrong team. And I’m solidly Team America, people! But the movie’s that good, and the actor who portrays the captain, Jurgen Prochnow, is just that talented (yes, and supremely sexy). So while it pains me to say I would follow this confident captain into battle, I vow I would then do my damnedest to distract him from blowing up Allied ships. Look at me doing my part for the war effort!

On July 5, the 1981 film arrives on Blu-ray. If you haven’t seen “Das Boot” because it’s 1) too long 2) too violent or 3) too subtitle-y, you are doing yourself a huge disservice. Critics gave it a 100 percent fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes, yo! Watch the movie, watch the whole 149 minutes all at once to enjoy maximum tension, and watch it in the original German and suck up the subtitles. (It won’t feel anywhere near as authentic dubbed in English.) You will thank me.

Gern geschehen.