Will Someone Please Hire Roberto Donadoni?
16 Aug
As a player he was just aight — I mean, he was a tremendous, top-notch soccer star in and for Italy, it’s just his looks were nothing special — but Roberto Donadoni has aged like a fine Chianti, or Parmigiano Reggiano, or — enough with the lame-o Italiano analogies, you get the drift. The player turned coach finally looks fiiiine, especially if you like your foxes of the silver sort (and I do). But he’s chosen the World’s Most Dangerous Profession: soccer coach in Italy. Following a soul-crushing debacle helming the Italian national squad and a devastatingly short-lived stint as coach of Napoli, he is once again withering away on the unemployment line, and out of the public eye. I know a lot of us have found ourselves out of work of late, and he has more money than, well, most of the world’s population, but to have a man like this in his prime just wasting away on the damned golf course is a damned shame. And now with the European soccer seasons starting up, we get teased with the prospect of him coaching again full time … but nope. I beg you, World: Hire him because he’s beautiful. Hire him because he makes comically awesome faces. Hire him because he resembles Wayne Coyne of the Flaming Lips. I don’t care what you do, World, just hire him so I can look at him again, g*dd*mmit! See what I mean:
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Man does he look great in a suit. Yum!
Jesus. I’m going to have to start watching soccer.
I have an idea of something he can do….